In my opinion, going out to a nice dinner with family or friends is one of life’s best things. And while it’s true that your girl loves to cook, I also love not having to cook – you feel me? (There’s a Thai restaurant around the corner from our house in Hertford with food so good it could easily convince me to never cook again.) But, if you’re like me and you suffer from food allergies, intolerances or dietary restrictions, eating a meal that you haven’t prepared can also feel quite stressful – especially if you don’t live in an area with many healthy options. Eating out with dietary restrictions can be a challenge, but it shouldn’t be off of the table.
Here are some of the tips + tricks I’ve gathered through the years of my dietary woes. These practices help me to remove some of the “overwhelm” of choosing appropriate foods from a foreign kitchen so that you can get on with more important things in your life like enjoying a delicious meal with the people you love:
Know Your “Why”
Regardless of whether your food choices are based in health or preference, you shouldn’t ever feel guilty for asking for what you’d like at a restaurant. Remember, as the customer, you’re paying for this food. But, there can definitely be an element of guilt or shame that comes with being “that girl” in the group – the one who asks a million questions, makes a bunch of substitutions and always asks for the dressing on the side. I get it. I’m her.
This is why it’s so essential to know your why. Because chances are, you aren’t pouring over your food choices for the fun of it. If you have an intolerance or allergy, your well-being is potentially on the line. You should never feel ashamed about protecting your health. For the server or the chef, it might be a small inconvenience to alter a menu item, but the repercussions for the restricted eater are much more serious. You aren’t being dramatic, you deserve to be well. Know your why.
Do Your Homework
Friends and family are usually much more understanding about diet stuff than we give them credit for. However, if you’re worried about what yours might say to your “order dance”, you can help eliminate some of the sideways looks by preparing in advance. I know that if I view a menu online before we head out for a meal, I can take a few minutes to look it over in private, choose an option + formulate any questions that I have. That way, when we’re all at the table together, I can ask my questions or order my food with minimal decision making time. Or better yet, call up ahead of time, speak to the manager + ensure there are some great options that fit your needs. Doing your homework removes all of the “in the moment” stress of navigating a strange menu when you have specific concerns.
Or, feel free to skip this step + take some initiative on the front end to suggest a restaurant that you know has options for you. My friends are usually relieved when I can offer up a suggestion. They love me + want to be sure I have something to eat other than lettuce. I bet your friends + family would feel the same way too.
Be Firm (But Flexible + Forgiving)
Remember that you are your best advocate. No-one cares about your health as much as you do. So, when placing a special order due to health restrictions, be sure to communicate your reasons to your server. Emphasize that you have an allergy or an intolerance. This ensures that the chef knows to prepare your food items separately to avoid cross contamination, which is essential for people with nut allergies, Celiac’s Disease, etc. I always ask the waiter to repeat my order back to me after I’ve given it. That way, I know specific nuances like, “no cheese” or “dressing on the side” aren’t missed in the shuffle. The only way to get what you need is to ask for it.
However, it’s also really important to be flexible + forgiving. If the restaurant isn’t able to amend the dish that you wanted, be open to adjusting your choice. Sometimes the kitchen will even offer to create something special just for you if you ask! And be forgiving – remember that this server is just a normal human with lots of other people to take care of besides you. If they don’t know which options fit your needs, give them the grace to run to the kitchen + ask (multiple times if they have to!). If they mess up your order, kindly ask them to fix it. They aren’t trying to annoy you or mess with your meal (they want your tip, after all!). It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. And chances are, they’ll be much more willing to fix them if you ask with kindness.
Relax + Take the Pressure Off
Perhaps the most important tip of all is to relax. It’s been proven again and again that your mental state can absolutely affect your gut health. If you’re full of anxiety + fear when you sit down to eat a meal, you’re much more likely to experience poor digestion + tummy troubles. If you’ve done your homework and communicated your requests clearly, your food will be fine. And if the meal isn’t that great? If you are left with chicken + veggies? It’s just one meal. The food usually isn’t the best part of the evening anyway. So, if you end up disappointed with your choices, try to focus on the good stuff. You can always make yourself a snack when you get home.
And lastly, take some of the pressure off of yourself. People really aren’t paying nearly as much attention to us as we think they are. We usually are the ones most worried about looking “weird” or “high-maintenance”, neither of which are true in these circumstances. Other people really do understand food allergies if we give them the chance. So, take your time, relax and ask for what you need.
I hope these tips will make eating out with dietary restrictions feel a bit more manageable. It’s a part of community that really is too good to miss. Breaking bread with people is such an essential part of how we connect. (And remember if you end up disappointed with what’s on offer at your local eateries, you can always stay in next time + make my Salt and Vinegar Magic Potatoes or some Sweet Potato Noodles with Cashew Cream Sauce. They’re a guaranteed win every time.)
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